I am sure I’m not the only Mama to experience a “Calgon moment” gone bad in the shower. You know what I mean, when the pure escape of muscle-soothing warm waters showering down your shoulders lulls you into a brain fog… and you suddenly can’t remember if you just added shampoo… or conditioner… or conditioner over shampoo… as you begin rinsing for the first, or possibly second time. Oops, did I just wash my face again? With cleanser or shampoo?
It’s a question that enters my mind a hundred times throughout a typical overloaded day: What am I doing again?
And it’s not just the mundane tasks that spiral out of control. Ever found yourself tongue-tied by a pleading child who can’t stop asking, “But why, Mom? Why?” Is there really an answer to that question, and if so, will it do any good? Wait a minute, what am I doing again?
It’s at these moments when I feel like I was just pulled into a movie scene, handed a screaming baby, a broom, a briefcase, and a 20lb-layer of “baby” weight, and the director is shouting: “Super Mom saves the day, scene two, take two, action!” The lights come on, but nobody’s home. Lines aren’t coming out of my mouth, and I have no idea where I am in the script. I’m standing there, the world is watching, and I have no idea what I am doing with the baby, the broom, the briefcase, and the excess baggage.
Then it hits me: This is my role, this is my movie. God gave me the part: It’s time to trust that He’ll help me find my way. But the role I am playing is not “Super Mom,” it’s “Humble Mom” — for it’s in these moments, when I am truly weak, that I become more and more grateful that He is strong.
Back to that dazed-and-confused moment: What am I doing again? Today, I’m choosing to follow His direction, learning my lines as I go, and doing my best to make the most of every scene!
—Renée Gotcher, a Durango Mama
“O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O LORD, You know it all together.“
“Even there, Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.”
“For You have formed my inward parts; You have covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious are also Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.” — Psalm 139: 1-4, 10, 13-18